Anyway, now we are almosr 3 yrs together and from the start of this year she finally admited being alcoholic and she started treatment process, with medications and therapy. Sorry to say this but its just my own opinion. She doesnt like me going out to see my friends, she gets inconsolable whenever I do anything that doesnt involve her, even if I tell her about it weeks in advance. Setup File Name: Adobe_Premiere_Pro_v23.2..69.rar. Dealing with a depressed girl isnt easy and there some moments of greatness and when it happens I take full advantage of it. I dont know what to do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever. In order for her to have a chance at any kind of substantive change and lasting relief, she needs to be working on these issues in therapy. She posts lots of hurtful things on her networks, she gets only and doesnt talk to me, shes alway leaving to something, she doesnt seem to care about things Ive got to say, shes no longer responsive or interested and shes been pretending fun, she doesnt seem to care at all anymore, and when I openly say how this has been hurting me and how things changed drastically, she always blames her condition, that she is really depressed and in mood swings, but she no longer let me be closer, she no longer wants to talk. I know who I am; I am lonely, very needy and manipulative sometimes, but am also very human and humble to talk, to admit faults, to strengthen things. Good looking, good healthy cooking. Peace, Man, you guys are explaining my life. If that person still doesnt change then it may be time to leave. But I love her and want to help. I am very caring, soft spoken and outspoken. My advice to anyone going through this with a depressed person is just call it off and move on. Im more bummed cause were not having as much sex as Id like. Do a "deep search" instead. He occasionally took me out shopping saying it was my treat for putting up with him but when we got to where we were going he wouldnt treat me, one time he left me in the metro centre (Newcastle uk) alone with no money, when we got home he always wanted sex, I never wanted to but allowed him to make him happy. If things aren't going well, if there's a lack trust, or if you don't feel secure, then it makes sense that anxiety might become an issue. Also, it is very important that a psychiatrist, and not a general practitioner, be managing her medication. Everything i could say would create a problem and everything was my fault. She has told me that my love and support has made her feel so special and that Im an amazing guy that deserves to be happy, and I believe her. Me and my LDR girlfriend were originally together for 7 months, then took a break for 3, and now we are back together. Buy she apparently can go on a day out with her ex to hang out behind her parents back.s he cant even do that for me?? If you think youre a piece of poop, youre going to think others think that way too. We had went there to plan for an engagement, but all she had for us was a rejection, simply because I don't own a house. When the relationship isn't secure, however, you might feel this nagging sense of jealousy towards everything and everyone. It is sad, my girlfriend has depression and hates to go out. She is very complexed about her weight, her mental issues and the time she has lost in her life. Over the past year I dated someone that was unbalanced and going through a significant life transition. My suggestion is start having a quality of life before it is to late , love is wonderful when it is growing but it can be hell if it is one sided. If you're being dragged down by your partner, it could be due to cheating, or emotional abuse, or a lack of support. 6. Remember the love bit. She was not like this when we first met. I dont mind being a caretaker.. but it has to be for someone who also cares about me. I am trying to help her but I could not help anymore than this.i could concentrate on caring myself, could not eat or sleep well. There are so ways people find happiness and you guys both just need to find yours and you need to know that one day.. You will. (All is Hell) He never told me his true feelings for me until he asked me to be his proper girlfriend (of corse I said yes) the first 3 months was perfect, He treat me like a princess even though he was depressed he was lovely, under one condition, if I didnt go see my friends and I didnt drink alcohol. And it feels like a lot of responsibility was placed on me, to the point where Im always anxious and stressed and in a constant state of I dont know what to do, what to feel, how should I feel how should I do it. But I just dont know anymore. Your girl might decide differently. Shes most likely cheating already, I mean think about their history as if the ex hasnt tried to make a move on her. It bothers me a lot and Ive done all I could to understand. They take all the goodness from you and leave you with nothing but sadness and depression. She just takes things to seriously when i try to joke around with her which i really can see that she has a real problem to begin with. She losing her best friend to cancer and she going through crisis with weight loss. But I really just wanted to Thank You for your post. Then she started talking that her family pressured her, about the meds and that she loved me, but had a really hard time. You took a leap when you wrote in with your question. You are helpful to them by being there when they need you. Now dont get me wrong, I get shes depressed and I feel for her, but I used to never have outbursts in my relationship period, and by now, 8 years in, the only way to make her stop taking all of her aggressive-depression(not that shed get violent, but yell on the most absurd things)/anxieties on me is to stoop down to her level and shout back, which then makes me feel like a jerk, she (almost) never say sorry, and for everytime she yells at me, somehow at the end I have to apologize or shell frown at me forever (claiming everything is fine, but obviously is it) I was in the same situation the past three and a half years. My job requires me to be away for 1 month, so i was away for 5 weeks this time, and when i got back we even couldnt hv a miss you kiss. I looked it up. I dont know what to do any more, Im losing to much sleep, my work is taking a toll and so is my health. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! Ive explained my feelings in the past and she says she understands but makes no difference. I feel as much like a caretaker as I do a boyfriend. We had a lot of fun together and while she did have some mental health issues, it never caused too many problems. It was new to me and i didnt know exactly how depressed people behave. To go cold turkey off 3 different anti depressants can someone die by doing that? So are yours always casting concerned looks? It is your life too. 11 months ago I started dating my girlfriend and everything was amazing. I just cant take the angry outbursts then the crying then the woe is me attitude over every tiny event. At the end of the day, I just believe that depression was just an excuse. No one feels superior or inferior to the other." This often happens when too much stress causes hyperarousal, which can upset the balance between sleep and wakefulness, according to the National Sleep Foundation. you're being dragged down by your partner, suddenly feel yourself worrying constantly, the balance between sleep and wakefulness, leave you feeling perfectly drained of energy. We started dating a few months after the divorce and (I admit we could have been more responsible of our actions) she is now pregnant with our first child. Tomorrow my lady and I would be ten months not quite a year, but things have switched off lately. She is quiet, shy, passive/aggressive yet bubbly she would do anything and everything instantaneously for me, great girl! Like you rejecting the last possible form of understanding and connection. Now I am questioning myself whether to leave her or hold her.whether she ll feel better later on if I suppose leave her. When asked I would avoid the answer because I really didnt know, and when forced, probably I would put the blame on someone else or act with aggression. Wow. She relies on me sitting down and talking sense to her, but I too feel like a caretaker, an older sibling or even a parent sometimes. My girlfriend has been depressed for 3 years. I fought with my boyfriend just to feel close to him for a while, to be able to talk. But i will never get married again since it really has become very risky for many of us men that have been married the first time. I need to know, I was engaged to get married to her but we called it off. You have two choices. She keeps saying this like Im not a good person & I dont think Ill ever stop feeling this way I have given her reassurance, saying Im here for it through the good and bad, but fuck it seems like Im talking to a brick wall sometimes. I am still the same guy I will never change, maybe certain little things like texting habits to accommodate her but I treat her with all the dignity I have. From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. Look Ive been dealing with depression for years as well and yes at times i feel a bit hopeful and at other times i just want to die. You wish your sex like was more active, but hate being the one to initiate. Its been 8 months and Im already afraid of how she might self destruct if I tried to end the relationship. Hugs. Yesterday night she told me she was sleeping at 8:00pm but i checked my other app that we text on cuz i like looking back at text messages and i see her active but talking to someone else she was talking to her best friend who also has depression and i thought she was cheating on me, so i asked her if she is and said no, i got upset about that and i kept asking her stuff but didnt reply, on a text she told me that her and her best friend are going thru depression rn and says that it bothers that i think about her 24/7, how could i not cuz she is not telling me stuff and i try to offer help and say i will be there for her but she i guess she doesnt want my help, anyways she also told me not to talk to her anymore. Dragged Down. I feel for you all. Posted October 5, 2013 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan Question: Hi Irene, My BFF and I have been friends since high school. When someone puts you down, deal with it by not immediately reacting to him. If you would like to talk to a therapist or counselor, you can use our site to locate one in your area. When you're in a relationship and feeling depressed, two people suffer. Please keep in mind that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory. Hey, lately iv been feeling more and more distant from my gf. Im tired of being told that I dont support her after 5 years of this abuse. My gf & I have been dating for only five months. She was sweet, sensitive and caring. Like everything was depending on something else, like it was fragile structure. What's my issue, and what steps can or should I take that would help both her and me? Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. She blames herself for everything, and says incredibly negative and hurtful things about her self. This is the person who wants what you have - your charm, your wit, your success, your intelligence, your job, your partner, whatever - and because they don't think they . You are an enabler when you take on others problems to the point where they become your own. Shes fixates and ruminates on her health on a daily basis, and connects every ache and pain as a reflection of her perceived inability and shame around not taking care of herself, and thinks she cant trust her own mind. There is so many thoughts and circumstances for a girl. She would start crying, shes wanted to leave home and then denied it the next day, I try to get her to talk about whats going on but she wont. And if an argument crops up, it almost always goes smoothly (i.e., no screaming, or blaming, or anything horrible like that). Go with her to therapist. She is loyal and would care for me no matter what but I cant keep bringing my own life down too to be on her level. Life was perfect. Still, its all your decision. It works for me (I dont really have a hobby Im just at school all the time). Or are they falling back into a state where they feel they are most comfortable. I am trying to help her but I could not help anymore than this.i could not concentrate on caring myself, could not eat or sleep well. The act of moving things out can be difficult to deal with. I found myself in a very similar situation. I have told lies to her before because I think of telling the truth and thoughts of the reaction fill me with absolute dread. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Move on with your life. Youve been shouldering a significant burden on your own for years; it sounds like you are ready to let someone help you carry the load. A trusted therapist will help you thoroughly explore these questions, develop insights, and create and implement a plan of action. First, try and make an attempt to be supportive. Im the one whos always giving the support and its draining me and she doesnt appreciate it at all and said she cant feel our love anymore. I am seeking some advice. She is in a constant state of less sad at the best of times. Its one thing to be committed to someone and another to keep trying only to see they themselves keep failing back into the same pattern. She is suffering from depression, anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, physical issues and so on. In your head, you know it's no big deal. I thought she was the woman of my life, that I would do anything for her and I would but she simply doesnt want. Am I taking the wrong approach? There was a point in my life when it was obvious I needed to address my depression which exposed itself as anger and Ive been waiting 5 years for her to have the same epiphany. You couldnt survive being a total mess a hundred years ago and By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. She says its her medication but shes been on it since the age of 15 and shes 45 now, Im 42 I knew I had a little depression here and there and a bit of self destructive I dont want to go to work kinda lazy crap going on. It was me rationalising my emotions. It is not your role in this case. I get it, youre both on the brink every second that goes by and it feels like thats all there is and ever will be. As time went on our texts started to get more and more one sided as i would ask about her day and i would help her with any problems she had, but she would always start complaining about her problems and never actually talking about mine. Trying to be a significant other when your partner has depression, anorexia, bulimia, addictions etc feels absolutely terrifying. Setup Type: Offline Installer / Full Standalone Setup. Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process, July 16th, 2016 at 5:42 AM Long distance, depressed girlfriend, university, feeling trapped, spending too much time and sacrificing too many things for the happiness of the other person in the relationship. Here are a few signs that the guy you're with is leaving you depressed. I didnt know about it. I take it this is detrimental to a persons feelings who has depression. Setup Size: 8.9 GB. I consider myself in recovery. In her weekly column, JOAN LONG, a Bishopstown psychologist and psychotherapist, answers readers' queries. Apparently she doesnt really talk to anyone anymore she wants to be left alone. Me being there, and supporting this whole time didnt count for anything. Youve shown your love for her and she knows that. Every time we go out she freaks out. "Relationships characterized by constant conflict, fighting, and lack of forgiveness are a recipe for disaster," Opperman says. That is why she will fail. If you are tired or stressed I cant do sex. Dont worry youre not alone! Your Dilemmas: My girlfriend's negative energy is dragging me down. Life is too short to waste time and energy on depressed people. There is more to life than this, trust me. But this might not work or end tragically also. I see her every weekend, during the week I keep to myself play video games, homework, go over to a friends for a beer. It would be way worse, and if you leave, then the relationship wouldnt be as big of a crutch and she and you can move on and grow. How wrong! Sam is just absolute right, Ive been with the same girlfriend for 8 years, helping her to cope with her anxiety and depression, which are not mild, in return I became a cranky, fearful and highly depressed individual, as soon as she moved in with me the symptoms became severe and everything was somehow my fault, even though we always lived under my expense (before at my parents, now at a house that i pay for literally everything) shes not willing to work or do anything, she always finds an excuse why something wont work out (she has a doctors degree, and she can do a lot of things with that particular degree she simply refuses to always citing some excuse about how its never going to work). But youre so young and its not very obvious but so many people go through this at some point in their lives because life truly is pretty messed up. Official HD video of Dragging Me Down. I don't have the same motivation and drive and care about myself like I did when I was single. I could stay in bed 2 days in a row. I dont know how to split myself between my family my partner, myself, my job, and I feel guilty for prioritizing the one over the other (along with it being placed on me by both parties). I love her, but I cant go on like this, sometimes I want to escape, but I cant. I can know no one would have got solution. If she did you would know. my health is declining. Also over the years I have cancelled so many plans with friends to take time to help her that I have lost contact and have become depressed myself about my loneliness. I tried to break up with her but,she couldnt let me ago, how cant she,shes been saying were drifting apart were nothing you dont care about me just stop it.and now shes depressed,or think she is, and Im the one getting all the thoughts all the sadness. I always stopped everything to help her, to stay hours remind her how she is incredible. I have good days and bad days. When I asked her if she wanted to go get some food, ice cream the mall,she said no for so many reasons. Being long-distance, you are actually BETTER OFF than if you were local! "So, yes, your relationship problems could lead you to suffering from high blood pressure." Every time I look at her pics, I am immediately in love again by seeing her smile but in person all I am thinking of is an exit strategy despite all the caring in the world. I hope my thoughts are helpful in any way, A woman goes through a break up, she goes out, cries half the time and gets her drinks paid for all night and has her choice of a half a dozen guys fighting over her. We started dating and since after 2 months shes been depressed. but in the end in realtionships, its about being happy. Shes gone to therapy, but currently not going. were so messed up its insane. Shes most likely cheating already, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch.! 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